hey all...There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days, which should be kept from fear and apprehension. One of these days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is beyond recall.
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promises, and perhaps its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This leaves only one day – today. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burden of those two awful eternity’s, yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, do our best to live one day at a time.
have a blessed day (:
lots of Love,
Pammie (:
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said.
"I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."
A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighbourhood. Every Friday The Catholics are driven crazy because, while they're morosely eating fish, the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks. So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him to Catholicism.
Finally, after many threats and much pleading, the Catholics succeed. They take the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water on the Jew and says, "Born a Jew, Raised a Jew, Now a Catholic."
The Catholics are ecstatic. No more delicious, but maddening smells every Friday evening. But the next Friday evening, the scent of barbecue wafts through the neighbourhood.
The Catholics all rush to the Jew's house to remind him of his new diet. They see him standing over the cooking steak.
He is sprinkling water on the meat and saying, "Born a cow, Raised a cow, Now a fish."
THE NEW PRIEST
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous that he could hardly speak. after mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. the monsignor replied, "when I'm worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. at the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. he proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late j.c.
7) The father, son and holy ghost are not referred to as daddy, junior and spook
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him
9) When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass
10) We do not refer to the cross as the big T
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper, he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body," he did not say "Eat me"
12) The virgin Mary is not referred to as the "Mary with the cherry"
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God"
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy
Here is the LOST CHAPTER IN GENESIS....
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What is wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.
He said,
"This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history..
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times.
Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back
"Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door.
The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was notation "Genesis 3:10".
Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me."
Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."
